Singleness

Good morning, how’s your coffee today? Mine is a light Millstone ground Caramel Truffle with a splash of Dolce de Leche creamer. Yummy.

I subscribe to Today’s Christian Woman, which is a great magazine if you’re interested. This month they have a special section on Singleness. There is one article in there that I seriously want to copy and give to every single person I know.

My single friends will find a great deal from it as the author discusses some of the myths many Christian singles face each day. My married friends will find this useful in dealing with their single friends and maybe know what not to say. I know my married and single friends mean well when they say many of these things to me but sometimes it’s not helpful.

Myth #1: Since the Bible says God is our husband (Isaiah 54:5; Jeremiah 3:14), an earthly spouse isn’t really necessary.1

OK, this myth isn’t one I really struggle with. I don’t have many people telling me this and it’s not a huge burden for me. But, to touch on this God designed us to be in relationships. From the beginning of time he created Man and Woman, Adam and Eve because he wanted us to be in relationship to have a helpmate. Genesis 2:20-24

Myth #2: Since, according to the apostle Paul, singleness is a desirable gift (1 Corinthians 7), spiritually mature single Christian women should fully – and joyfully – embrace it.1

This is something that I hear occassionally from some of my single friends. While it’s true that there are some “gifts” to being single. It’s also important to read this in it’s true context. Yes, Paul was single, but when this was written he was going through a lot. (Not just some simple “life’s tough stuff”, really true, intense persecution.) In that time he could honestly say “thank goodness it’s just me dealing with this. But, also look at the passage…Paul talks about it being good to marry. Again, though, God calls us to be in relationships. Marriage was and is God’s design for our lives. So, beings joyful in your singleness isn’t a matter of spiritually maturity. It’s really a matter of living your life accepting what God has planned for you.

Now, on the opposite side, I do embrace my singleness at this time in my life. For many of my married friends they take this as giving up or saying that God desires for me to live out my life single. I’m not sure what the future holds, I just know that this is where God has me now and I embrace THAT.

Myth #3: Since God promises us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4), he’ll give a husband to a woman who truly desires one.1

This is one I get a lot. Yes, God does take care of us. Yes, God does provide things for us. But, God’s way is right. He’s infinitely wiser than I am (thank goodness) and he knows what is best for me. So, while yes, it is a desire of my heart to have a husband I also accept that God knows what he’s doing in not providing one for me (ever or just yet). Can God take that desire away if he wants to? Yes. But, maybe he doesn’t want to? Maybe it’s his desire that this desire stay on my heart. Maybe he’ll fulfill it down the road, or maybe he won’t. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Psalm 3:5-6.” The point is to trust the Lord to provide what you need whether that is companionship through a spouse or the comfort of friends when that’s not what he provides even though we don’t understand WHY.

Looking back over my life and I can clearly see points in the past where I so strongly desired a life-mate. Now, looking back, I can also see that those times when God did not answer my heart’s desire it was in my best interest. I wasn’t in a place personally, emotionally, and/or spiritually to make a choice for a life partner. God watched out for me there and he took care of it. At the time I couldn’t see it but now I can and I thank him for protecting me.

Myth #4: Since the Bible says we’re to be content in all circumstances (Hebrews 13:5; 1 Timothy 6:6-8), God won’t provide singles with a mate until they’re totally satisfied with singleness.1

Here’s another one that drives me crazy. God hasn’t NOT provided me a mate because I’m not content with my circumstance. I know that. He’s ways are greater (and wiser) than my ways. It’s also not “giving up” if I admit that I am satisfied with my singleness.

I haven’t given up on finding a husband. I haven’t given up on myself as a suitable mate for someone else. I also am not dissatisfied with God for not taking care of this desire of mine. Truth is, I trust the Lord to take care of me. No, it’s not always the way I would write that particular chapter in my life but you know what, he hasn’t screwed up yet! So, this is one other thing I’ve long since handed over to him. Am I always happy with how He handles it? Truthfully, no. But, even in those times I still trust that he’s doing what’s in my best interest and whether he has a mate for me or not it’s OK.

You can read the full article written by Lisa Harper here: Singleness and Scripture, this is just my take on it.

1Harper, Lisa. “Singleness and Scripture“. Today’s Christian Woman May/June 2008: 43-44

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May 25, 2008 | Filed Under a cuppa reading, a cuppa thoughts 

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